Cultural Xenophobia

I loathe the entire cult-like culture of surprise parties. It has a stranglehold on my social circle. All the lying and deception in an effort to "win" and surprise the celebrant is eating away at my soul.

That said, i'll also note that my mom threw me the best surprise party ever when i was 12 years old, and Nick invited himself over to hang out, and Robbie V. came walking up the street with him and Chris. It is little surprise that my friends' paltry efforts pale in comparison-- you can't beat that with a stick.

If you ever throw me a surprise party, i will disavow your friendship and join the A-Team.